How to Show Not Tell-Due Tuesday 2/17

How to Show not Tell

When we write, we want to Show what is happening through the use of details, description, rich language and dialogue instead of just simply Telling the story. Showing is exciting and gets us into the action while Telling is flat and uninteresting. Below is an example of how to Show not Tell in your writing.

Telling
My Mother
My mother was a caring person, but she was also a person who had many problems, so she didn’t pay as much attention to me as I wanted her to. She stare in front of her a lot of worrying about things I was too young to understand, but it made me feel sad and even a little bit rejected. I guess every kid needs to believe she is the center of her mother’s universe.

Showing
My Mother
“Mama, listen, Mama, listen to me, I want to tell you something…” I stood right in front of my mother pulling at her hand, but she only sat there, staring straight ahead at the wall. I wanted her to turn her head and look at me, so I would know without a doubt that she was listening to me alone, not to some other voice inside, a voice louder than mine, more insistent than mine. I put my hand underneath her chin to turn her head to me. I remember the soft, warm skin, and I remember the pull of her chin away from me, until she finally turned her head. I remembered my joy as I felt her turn---and I remember panic as her eyes, unfocused, looked past me. “What is it, child?” she asked sounding tired, but I could not remember what it was I wanted to tell her.

Assignment

1. Write a brief paragraph about an experience in your life and just tell the story without details(ex: My sister was lying on the couch and wouldn’t let me have the remote control…)
2. Then write the paragraph over with dialogue & concrete and sensory details like the story above. (ex: It was Sunday morning, when I found my sister Julie curled up in a blanket on the couch like a caterpillar in a cocoon. I said, “Give me the remote!” And she scrunched up her face and spat, “No way, Bozo…”)